Mood: Tired, the frustrated, then good, then good, then good, and now, bad.
Everyone knows that relationships -- family, friends, lovers -- involve taking and giving on both parts. It's a basic understanding that some people somehow fail to understand. Some people do a lot of taking and very little giving. Some great people, contrary wise, do a lot of giving and very little taking. These people are like load stones, or keystones in the middle of an arch. Without them, that entire relationship would collapse, like an arch with no keystone.
A relationship kind of like that happens between me and my sister. She does some giving, but mostly takes. I don't take much and I give a lot.
I'm a loadbearer. I've known that for a while. You come to me with your problems and I'll sympathize and try to help with what I can.
But with my sister, she sees it as me the taking and her doing all the giving.
Who's sitting around not doing anything while Mackenzie looks for a flash drive?
Who asks Mackenzie to get her a needlenose pliers when she can easily get them herself?
Who thinks that she's superior in every way to me?
Who refuses to treat me like an adult? . . . when I'm treated like an adult probably 80% of the time?
I'm getting sick of doing all the giving in this relationship. It's not how a relationship should be. It should be an even balance on both sides.
I feel like Arima in Razia's Shadow. He was one of the two most gifted of The Scientist's (God's) Seraphs (angels), and he proved to The Scientist his gifts, but was brushed off, with no recognition. He made the lamps to show everyone his gift. Still no compensation or recognition. The Spider tells him 'You have a special gift, but they still treat you like you're a kid. It must feel so bad with a knife in your back.' The Spider convinces Arima to destroy the lamps in a spectacular display of his fury towards The Scientist. Arima, in his rage, destroys the lamps and sets The Scientist's creation (their world) ablaze.
Arima's intentions were good -- he wanted to change the world, impress The Scientist and Nidria (The other most gifted Seraph, and the girl he's in love with). All he wanted to do was good, and all he wanted was recognition. He didn't get it, and The Spider corrupted him.
Arima's world burns, and The Scientist and Nidria and the rest of the Seraphs go to another creation, and erected a wall between them. Arima's punishment was he was to stay on the Dark side forever. A prophecy was made by the Oracle that someone would reunite the Dark and the Light.
100 years later, on the Dark side, we have two boys -- Pallas, the heir, and Adakaias, the youngest. Adakaias dreams of another, better world. Everyone tells him he's stupid for thinking this, that he should be more like his brother. He feels the urge within him to escape the dark may be the prophecy. He remembers all the tales he heard as a child of the prophecy and Arima's story. Everyone's ashamed in him for being 'foolish,' his own brother claiming his is 'Naive and starry-eyed,' and that 'the Dark has been your home,' even threatening to hunt him down and kill him if he leaves the Dark.
Adakaias tells his brother that he can't help this feeling in his heart telling him to run -- that he, Pallas, was meant to rule the dark and that 'I was meant to see the sun!'
In the end, Adakaias leaves the Dark, tired of fiction, for the city of Light. He was disguised as a citizen, and once he got there, he was saying that he should have left earlier, and his hope was peaked -- that he was right. Then . . . he fell for someone, Princess Anhura -- who, much like Adakaias, spent much of her life dreaming of a different life.
I won't spoil the rest for you, because it's actually really weird to explain the last of it. Besides, I think it's better to get the story from the music than anything.
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